A lost friend...

At this point this post isn't going to be looked at by the littlest of souls except from the one person that monitors post from the Blogspot HQ. My summer was going great, little on my mind except videogames and friends. Then I was hit with difficult news about a close friend of mine who had died of drugs. Second person in my life to pass away this year that was at the very least a decent human being. This man was going to do awesome things. I can't help but to reflect on the morning of the reception of such news. I am devastated at how someone can essentially disappear from my life not by choice but by incident. I thought life would be a fairytale of good fortune with occasional problems. Then my senior year hit me like a train. The years of the teenager are difficult, the transition from the ugly little duckling to the eventual swan is discouraging. Nothing seems to help me move along. I thought not attending the service for Aaron would help me overcome but it didn't. My mind clouded by my stupidity and oblivious to the occurrence of such tragedy prohibited me from listening to my friends. I should have checked on my friends to see how they were especially the more affected ones. As time quickly progresses nearer to my own demise, I take note of the day I must leave the nest and hopefully become the swan I want to be but I can't help but to remember my good times with Aaron. We mourned the death of a smile and we made others smile in a class shrouded by numbers and symbols with a short monotone teacher with an odd obsession with three girls. Aaron became my nerd buddy we shared the same love for creativity and science. We shared a yearning to change the world. I know that it is no longer required for my ex classmates to glance over my blog and this is a post that will not be seen by many but I feel the necessity to release the words trapped in the folds of my brain and the passages of my neurons. Aaron you will be missed by the few who truly knew you. As I type this with a tear drop on my the LED screen of my phone I struggle to finish typing this post...

Bildungs Roman

Ephraim Rodriguez

6/8/15

           This last couple of weeks have been a tremendous experience for all of the classes partaking in AP Literature and Composition. Many of these prestigious students learned the deep thoughts rolling through the skulls of their peers. Some were frightened by the gravity of their ideas, others were in agreement. This course has been open in many ways as students from a traditional setting we were free, and in some ways a bit too free. Some students took lightly to the course and I not being exempt. One way or another everyone took a shortcut. As students we find the easy way out so we have less stress to deal with. I think this course deserves a little more consequence so students are less tempted to goof off.

            My journey through this class was awesome. In some aspects I felt like Beowulf when I conquered my essays. In other aspects I felt like Hamlet when I was able to get my own art class. In my own way I caught a glimpse into the “Brave New World” (in a promising less dark kind-of way) when looking for research pertaining to my masterpiece. I enjoyed seeing how I was able to learn so much about myself, others, and course material.

            Initially I wanted to do an experimental approach to Alzheimer’s disease but that was too difficult to arrange so I toned down my project and decided to just do research and learn about this topic. I started at Wikipedia to get my whole project going then google scholar helped me to get more detailed scientific hypotheses like the Tau and Amyloid Hypotheses. I became fascinated with this information. I called my family to see how my grandfather was doing only to see him continually get worse as his illness progressed and his Alzheimer’s degraded him further. At this point I was sure I would work on this issue for my project and the rest of my existence on this blue orb.

            As deep as I saw my involvement in this project, I also noticed how deep others’ projects were. Taylor Wall had a deep fascination with Serial Killers and their psychology which was wickedly awesome. She went to the nitty-gritty stuff like the profiles of different types of murderers. Henry Freebourn dropped 4 “f-bombs” and a handful of other expletives explaining his views on censorship and “the man.” Henry spoke in a way that was easily relatable to all the students. Eric Jackson’s presentation in some aspect was very similar to Henry but in a more professional less angry way. He went into the psychological reasons why people in this world are conforming to social pressures and showed us how to avoid these pressures. Miles Jorgensen showed us his passion in video, and made everyone evoke some emotion. His video featuring “Gumby” had words that spoke to the heart and not in tongue, it was eloquently put so that the audience gets a laugh and a tear of joy when the dog is reunited with the large, green, clay, alcoholic. The presentation that showed the most enthusiasm was of course Alec McFarland. Alec’s eyes were bright and wide when the word psychedelic came from his smiling face. The whole class could feel how attached Alec was to his project and in one way or another each of us showed some sort of adorations= for our projects.

            This was an epic experience and I am hopeful that the teens from room 608 will make a difference in the world as soon as the next second that passes.  

Peer Pressure

No not the kind we trained to avoid in 5th grade... The kind we are trained to follow since birth. What irks me is the idea that it's okay to enforce societal values into a child. My Art project that might even be a month late due to my lack of prioritization, has subconsciously taught me a lot. The whole idea of things like religion being okay to teach to children is sad. Religion has its pros and cons but many people enforce the bad. I left a seemingly good faith because of this. What I felt like was a good part of my life turned out to be the most prejudiced and hateful. Be different, challenge what comes your way, be you. Don't let the bully enforce conformity.

I swear...

My mind works better into the night
My mind works better under stress
My mind works better in fear
My mind works better with a beat to follow
My mind works better in the absence of voice
My mind works better when directed by myself
My mind works better behind the glowing pixels of this LED panel
My mind works better when stimulated by caffeine
My mind works better when my sanity is nowhere to be found
My mind works better when it is gone.
My mind doesn't work at all...

...

Sometimes you don't know the complete story. Sometimes most of the variables are missing. Sometimes a person may not really be who you think they are. Sometimes a person may have lived a life totally different than what you imagined. Sometimes you will never understand me. Sometimes nobody will. Sometimes I have felt life to be unbearably difficult. Pressure is what makes a beautiful diamond right? No pressure is what makes the cracked graphite at the bottom of the cave. My struggle is one you may never understand. My music is one you may never like. My qualities are some that may or may not enjoy. What is the point sometimes? Sometimes I may seem erroneous.

This was written because my last few weeks have felt somewhat difficult in all aspects. Physically, mentally, and  emotionally. AP tests aren't even stressing me out all that much, just a combination of a variety things.

Feeling

                I sit and wait under these fluorescent light bulbs for a verdict of my future. This trial is an unjust representation of myself. I feel as I am more human than the person conducting this cruel trial and in some aspects my faults are what make me even more human. The qualities of a robot are the qualities they are lacking. Lacking of feeling, emotion, tone, empathy, love, sadness, and countless more, are what makes a machine the cold and electric calculator it is. I on the other hand have thoughts and feelings that make me a unique individual. I can show affection for my loved ones, while the one reprimanding my character cannot feel a single ounce of empathy for a person being destroyed by a robotic system of trial. A system of trial that instead of proving guilt will throw out all evidence innocence and send me to the factory and sort out beads for the rest of my organic existence. What’s the point of fighting this then?

                I need to look out for my posterity, each and every person after me, so that they do not encounter the same issue as I do. I will fight a broken system all on my own thinking. This was not programmed into my thoughts by a computer engineer but by experience. The most human of people were fighters, genuine people like Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr.; they fought for what they knew was right. They showed a love of enormous agape, they had never-ending empathy, and they fought for something more than themselves. Those same qualities that didn't make them a robot is what can also define others as human. I aspire to even be half as great as them but a robot doesn't even have the capability to aspire such things. They are programmed to do jobs and things in a repetitive manner as suggested by their coding.

                A simple look at medical records it is evident that that I am an organic organism born naturally from the same organic species of human. I feel betrayed by a system that throws out my rights and equivocates me to and inanimate object based off of what? Does this supposed man know of my past experiences, my interactions with others, my charitable actions of empathy, or even the emotion I feel? I must assure you that I don’t dream of “electric sheep.”

Feeling is the bold line between human and robot. A robot doesn't have an emotional feeling like humans do. The feelings of empathy, love, sadness, joy and anger make me human. I understand why a university wouldn't admit an android to their university. I don’t understand why this university won’t accept me and my fully capable sentient self.

What about in-class stuff, yo?

I get it blogs and our work at home has to mean something right?

What about the time invested inside the classroom?

 It's the same five or six people that participate the others sit around and do nothing. The same people I see who are constantly commended for their "EXCELLENT" work on their blog are the ones snapchatting, texting, talking our doing some other useless thing that doesn't pertain to the in-class agenda. A blog that isn't reviewed nor given feedback to me is useless. Whereas an argument in class where I can see the opposing side's argument is much more influential and valuable. Enough with comparing each other's blogs and focus on what really matters the actual discussion in the FUCKING classroom. Where is the bracket for in-class discussion? I feel like I might make it to the Final Four.

Ozymandias

A poem by Percy Bysshe Shelley

Title

The name Ozymandias has the meaning of a great ruler that once lived. A ruler who once instilled much fear into his enemies. A ruler who was also deemed successful. This seemingly extravagant name fits with the meaning. 

Paraphrasing 

The author places the reader in a desert in front of this huge statue that fell over. The author also explained the features of this enormous sculpture and their significance. The sneer of this ruthless leader,but was kind enough to take care of his people. Then there is an interjection, placed by Shelley, from this king, Ozymandias. He roars his, mighty accomplishments and how awesome he is. Then the author pulls the reader back as he pans out and the view of the desert once again becomes clear to the reader. 

Connotation

Pedestal: the statue was literally on a pedestal, but as royalty so was Ozymandias. He most likely lived a lifestyle of lavishness and jaded decadence. 

Decay: the statue was falling apart therefore it was in a state of decay, but this word has a more negative connotation as it is after Ozymandias's period of rule and his entire empire is in a state of decay and is not remembered.

Attitude

The authors attitude toward this piece at a glance is eulogistic, in the sense that it reminisces on Ozymandias. After reading it a couple times it is clear that the author didn't intend the reader to take this from the piece but one of short-mind. The author sees the successes of this ruler as a thing of the past in the vast expanses of this hot and sandy wasteland of history. 

Shift

The initial part of the story focuses on the qualities of the king and how he was a mighty man of boastful talent and chilling ruthlessness. Ozymandias then becomes just rubble in the Egyptian desert.

As the other implies that this reign was so long ago that its accomplishments mean nothing. 

Title

The title is is just a portrayal of something that used to be, something that used to be grand, something that used to be historic. The authors use of Ozymandias is ironic, because the author describes the excellent qualities of Ramees II (Ozymandias) then proceeds to marginalize him.

Theme
Even if tremendous accomplishments were made in the past it is okay to disregard them and focus on the future.

Tobermory Appin

 "If he was trying German irregular verbs on the poor beast," said Clovis, "he deserved all he got."

This line in respect to the text shows how much people can be against new discovery. Tobermory in many respects was like the monster in Frankenstein, his presence was surely unwelcome. Then the guest wanted this talking cat ousted by poisoning his food. Tobermory did die but not at the hands of the people that wanted to kill him similarly to the monster. 

When a bad day turns worse.

It was hot
Sat in gum
Work was stressful
Rejected and waitlisted from two schools in a two hour period.
My mind won't stop moving
I am done.
Done with everything
I try but all I get is nothing.
Sometimes life can be hard
But sometimes its too hard.
I don't want to do anything anymore.
I just want to get away.
From all that is deemed successful.
Why?
Why me?
Why try anymore?
Who am I?
What more do I need?
What more can I do?
School is hard and mentally degrading.
I swear I am going to have PTSD of my days in school.
Shattered dreams.
Shattered Hopes
I sit here in a computer lit room and wonder.
Can it get any worse?
Can I feel any more worthless and unfulfilled.
I feel like a disappointment.
Not good enough
A product of my own inequities.
This is stupid.
I could punch a wall to relieve frustration but it leaves me with nothing other than a broken hand and more anger.
It was foolish to think that a school like Berkeley would want me.
I am not special
I don't stand out.

From a planet in the middle of nowhere... (ART PROJECT 1)

I decided on this piece of art because it looked cool and easy. It ended up looking cool but it was definitely difficult. I chose to political articles and Egyptian art as the medium for this mosaic. It was important for me to pick things that clearly define the things of Earth, politics and art. Both are prevalent in most culture and still exists today. They can be highly controversial unlike a storm trooper. A storm trooper is a soldier dictated by right and wrong and takes orders. Notice how a storm trooper is only black and white because it clearly defines right and wrong. Politics are blue, red, and every color in between. Art is a mosh pit of color finding harmony or contrasting with the pigment juxtaposed with it. Both have no place near a storm trooper. Our problems don't mean anything in the greater aspect of the universe but as a collective race we make things like presidential races out to be things that are life or death; and in this case the existence of our race or not. Kill the stormtrooper of art and politics and focus on the few planets in the background and utilize the whole picture to solve the problems at hand concerning our future. 

A lost smile....

Walking down the hallways and all I see is gray. Gray faces each slightly different but with the same emotion. As I keep walking I see one bright face. This face illuminates the faces of those around her, even mine. Then I walk by illuminating those around me. The effect of one smile is exponential. Going from a mere smile to a multitude of happy individuals. Day in and day out the same event occurs. This one person as happy as can be never had a gray face.

This girl, Breanna, is the lost smile and due to a tragic event that's one illuminated face gone. This missing smile creates more absences of smiles.

Next time you walk by a gray face one smile makes a difference. Imagine a person going through difficulties at home, they don't want to remotely deal with negativity anymore.

Rest in Peace Bree.

Werds #3

exposition- The initial portion of the story that gives all of the information needed for the rest of the story. Initial buffet of information for a story.

expressionism- The representation of inner feeling in art, literature, or music. Usually intended to be unrealistic

fable- A short allegory with animals.

fallacy- An erroneous mistake in an argument, post hoc, red herring, and circular reasoning.

falling action- portion of the story after the climax.

farce- a rude comedy that is meant to be absurd.

figurative language- imaginative language used to describe characters or events.

flashback- when a prior event is told in the present.

foil- contrasting characters in a story. Tybalt and Mercutio in Romeo and Juliet were good examples.

folk tale- oral tradition for stories.

foreshadowing- a literary device used to foresee an event but isn't outright blatant.

free verse- poetry without structure or rhyme.

genre- category of art, literature, or music.

gothic tale- story that is dark and gloomy, usually violent and gruesome. 

hyperbole- exaggerated figure of speech

imagery-  vivid description to convey an image

implication- meaning of a story that the reader supposed to arrive at

incongruity- deliberate juxtaposition of polar opposites, the result is inappropriate. 

inference- coming to a conclusion base open information of the story.

irony- an incongruity between what is said and what is meant.

Differences

Coming from Mrs. Johnson's art class, to Dr. Delrio's class I note several differences. For one, noise... There is so much more noise and vibrancy in Delrio's room. Some people are loud, the art pieces on the walls are even louder. Its awesome. I am excited to have switched my classes so that I have the opportunity to experience true art.

Large Pip, Medium Pip, and Small Pip

            Role-models to some are viewed as people that are amazing people. Some commit philanthropic deeds to communities, while others provide ideals that are viewed as inspirational. In Great Expectations by Charles Dickens, Pip is an orphaned boy that tries out a variety of people as role models to make up for the lack of guidance he had as a young boy. His lack of directions shows the various sides to Pip. Pip encounters people that make up the different sides of Pip. Characters like Joe, Jaggers, and Magwitch each are very different but when their characteristics are morphed together, there is Pip.

            Magwitch, although a living being, is an apostrophe to society. Magwitch is a criminal, constantly scaring Pip and bullying him. After the story rolls forward, Magwitch opens up to Pip and we see that Magwitch had the same feeling of being orphaned. This is the first connection to Pip that we see. From first glance the audience sees Magwitch as a dark person with little significance, until Dickens characterizes Magwitch. At this point the audience can visualize the connections between Pip and this beast of a person.

            Mr. Joe Gargery also is part of the composition of Pip. Pip’s dreams and aspirations show the child within him. Joe has this aura to him as he is a romanticist; he trusts others and thinks via emotion like Pip.  Joe is also a blacksmith with an abusive wife. His character is not financially sound and with an overbearing wife there is quite a connection to Pip. As a boy Pip was not wealthy at all constantly struggling as an orphan, this connection to Joe is pretty blatant, but the connection between Mrs. Joe and Estella is hidden. Joe stays with his abusive wife and oddly never leaves her; Pip replicates the same principle with Estella. Estella is cruel and heartless to Pip but Pip can never seem to get away. This little Easter Egg placed by Dickens shows that Joe is also a piece of Pip.

            Lastly Jagger, the dark-side of Pip, also makes up the protagonist in this book. Jagger is the foil of Joe but nonetheless has some correlations to Pip. The difference between Jagger, Joe, and Magwitch is that Jagger is more like the older version of Pip. Jagger is cold and calculated, untrusting of others, and wealthy; all of these characteristics become “Older-Pip.” Toward the end of the story Pip cuts himself off from everyone and becomes a snob. Pip as an adult is somewhat wealthy up until Magwitch’s death.

            After analyzing Great Expectations by Charles Dickens, I firmly believe that dickens wrote this novel to use an extended metaphor to analyze an individual and the characteristics between an individual. Throughout the story there are conflicting characteristics within Pip and on top of that he tries to find himself.

Le Lit Terms List 2

Circumlocution: the beating of the bush of words, utilized to make speech seem like there are just far too many words being used. 

Classicism: any piece of art, writing or music that has ties back to ancient Greece or Rome.

Cliché: A term that is stale and overused by society. 

Climax: The peak of a story. The good part of the story.

Colloquialism: informal speech of the zeitgeist. Today yolo and swag are colloquialistic words of my generation.

Comedy: For plays it describes a story with an outcome without death. Nowadays it means that the story better be funny to the audience.

Conflict: A point of tension.

Connotation: the meaning received from a word or phrase that is not its dictionary definition.

Contrast: When two things are opposing.

Denotation: The definition of a word or phrase given by a dictionary.

Denouement: The point of resolution after a story. 

Dialect: The forms of speech used by characters in a particular setting. In uneducated poor regions characters usually have terrible grammar while rich educated characters have good grammar.

Dialectics: formal debate over universal truths

Dichotomy : A break between two opposing things

Diction: The types of words used in literature. Like the dialect of the writer.

Didactic:  the act of teaching things to others.

Dogmatic: school

Elegy: A mournful eulogy in the form of poetry or music.

Epic: A really really really really really really really really really long poem used to explain the journey of a hero or nation.

Epigram: smart-aleck aphorism.

Le Siddhartha yo

1.      See how, in the beginning Siddhartha is following a traditional “devotional” path. Why isn’t this enough for Siddhartha? Do you agree that he should leave? Why?  http://arapahoe.littletonpublicschools.net/Default.aspx?tabid=2905

2.      How is rebirth represented in Siddhartha? http://www.enotes.com/siddhartha/q-and-a/how-rebirth-represented-story-different-from-377988

3.      What has caused Siddhartha "to feel the seeds of discontent within him"? Siddhartha believes that he has obtained all the knowledge that his father and teachers can offer, but it is not enough. www.summit.k12.co.us/.../STUDY%20GUIDE%20QUESTIONS%20AN...‎

4.      If you were the river, would you be enlightenment or would you know enlightenment? In other words, what’s up with the river? What is it’s relation to enlightenment? http://www.shmoop.com/siddhartha/questions.html

5.      What purpose does self-denial serve in Siddhartha? What about self-indulgence? http://www.shmoop.com/siddhartha/questions.html

Brains and stuff

   Well some of you may know that I want to be a neurologist or a neurosurgeon. This idea stemmed from when I was in junior high and I found out that my grandpa had Alzheimer's disease. This is a disease that deteriorates the brain, and the affected person forgets everything. People usually die of complications with this sickness like forgetting how to breathe. This disease saddens me because my grandpa whom has seen me grow up doesn't recall my existence. He is helpless too as he forgets routine tasks and begins to revert to a toddler-like mentality. I feel lime it is my calling to make a difference in the lives of those affected by this tragic disease.
   By learning about the control center of the human body I will be closer to my dream of helping people with Alzheimer's.
   Although I want to work with neurology because of my grandpa, I also want to work with it because brains are pretty dang cool. The different connections of nerve cells in the brain create channels of information that stores the entire life of a person in an organic super computer. The brain can access data faster than some computers today, and they only require organic material to keep on functioning. This sensitive organ is about the size of your fists and has enough storage to store your whole life and every language.
   The brain also has psychological factors that are affected chemically. People with depression or bi-polar disorder have certain chemicals around their brain that cause them to act abnormal. People are born with the same organ, but develop in an environment that affects how they are going to live the rest of their life differently. A child born into an abusive family is left imprinted with this behavior and is stored into his brain. He cannot be changed and will live his life a certain way because of these events. While Kim Kardashian is a whiny baby as an adult because of her family.
  Learning how the external and chemical factors on the brain affect functioning of you and I is something that I want to explore.